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All posts for the month July, 2012

Something To Look Forward To

Published July 31, 2012 by goingalongwithit

Hey guys. I’m sorry for being away from my blog for a couple of days, I’ve been pretty busy. I’ve had to go to work a lot this week so that’s the main reason to be honest. So let me fill you in on my weekend. 

This Saturday was the wedding of a friend of mine. It was such a lovely day. As strange as this may sound to some people It’s the first wedding I’ve been to since I was around 8 years old, so I guess you could say it was my first ‘proper’ wedding, or at least the first at which I wouldn’t be playing under tables and getting hyper on fizzy drinks instead of alcohol. The bride (my friend) looked completely stunning – saying that, she is a very good looking woman in general so she looks pretty great all the time if I’m totally honest (bitch … joking) – and her fiance, or husband now also scrubbed up pretty well I must say. There was a church ceremony, which was also lovely. The bridesmaids were dressed in simple pink dresses, not something I would choose, but it wasn’t my day. Everyone had fun, I think. Well I did and I know the bride and groom did which is this most important thing. 

I didn’t expect at all how emotional it would make me feel. I didn’t cry. I don’t often cry at all and the times I do are not in public. But I wanted to. I am however, pretty great at holding that in. It was just so great seeing a couple so happy together, so in sync. They’ve been together since they were 15 years old, and are now both 24, so I guess you could call them childhood sweethearts. I wish  them every happiness in the future, from the bottom of my heart. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen two people that happy. I can’t wait to feel like that. I’ve always, until quite recently, been the kind of girl to say that I would never get married. I didn’t grow up planning my wedding day or imagining what the man waiting for me at the end of the isle would look like. It just wasn’t my thing. But as I’ve gotten a little older I’ve realized that one day I do want to get married. I wouldn’t want anything huge or over the top but I do want it to happen one day.

I don’t need to conjure up an ideal of the man I will marry. Because in all honestly I believe I already know who that person is. Perhaps at some point in the future that will change, I hope not, but I am aware that sometime life gets in the way and things just don’t work out the way we expect or want them to. I can wait for my big day, I’m very much looking forward to it, but I can wait for it. I’m looking forward to relishing the journey to the big day too. I’m just looking forward, in general, to spending the rest of my life with this special person. Like I said though, I am aware that this may not pan out the way I want it to. But I won’t adopt a pessimistic outlook, I’ve always been a strict believer in seeing the glass as half full and not half empty.

This man is my best friend. We have a very special connection, one that neither of us needs to put into words, not that I think I could even if I wanted to. Our future is my ‘something to look forward to’. I’m in a very happy place in my life. A feeling that doesn’t always last, but that should at the same time be cherished. Not everybody has good times, but everyone has bad times, and for my good times such as right now I count myself extremely lucky. I hope other people do too. My motto is that there is ALWAYS someone worse off than me. I don’t mean this in a morbid way, just a reminder to myself not to take simple things, or anything for granted. Not everyone has the luxuries I do, or you do. 

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My first award!

Published July 28, 2012 by goingalongwithit

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I’m very proud to let you Guys know that http://lanternpost2012.wordpress.com/ has nominated me for the ‘One Lovely Blog Award’. I completely didn’t expect anything like this, especially so soon after I started my blog. I am new to this and so I hope that I do this right! I was feeling a little worried about blogging not long ago, scared that I wouldn’t be witty enough to post a blog. But this has restored a lot of my confidence. If someone has noticed me then I must be doing something right (I hope). 

I understand that the rules of this award are:

  • Post seven interesting things about myself,
  • Nominate other bloggers who I feel deserve the award,
  • Let them know about nomination.

So, here goes! Seven interesting things about myself (I apologize now if anyone reading this doesn’t find these facts remotely ‘interesting’ but I find it hard to talk about myself):

  1. I don’t like chicken
  2. I can speak substantial German, but I’m far from fluent
  3. I have only been on a plane once
  4. My last pet was a dog called Harvey when I was around 11/12 years old
  5. I have serious issues with germs & touching things (I don’t tell many people that one)
  6. I volunteer for the Guide Dogs for the Blind association – a charity which aims to raise money to pay for the cost of a guide dog for the people in need of one in my area, guide dogs are extremely expensive!
  7. I have met Sally from Coronation Street (Those outside of the UK may not understand this. Sally is a character on a long running British soap opera).

There we go, that wasn’t so painful after all … I did struggle with a few of them though but I changed the order in the hope that none of you will notice. 

It is my absolute pleasure to also nominate the following blogs for this award:

http://suburbiainterrupted.com/

http://angloadventure.com/

http://mirthfulme.wordpress.com/

My Biggest Fear

Published July 26, 2012 by goingalongwithit

This may sound silly, but it’s not until today that I’ve truly realized how short life really is. Obviously I’ve heard  the saying “life is too short” before, I think everyone has. I’ve just been thinking today about my future, and about my past too. The main issue, is how fast time goes. I can’t comprehend where the last 2 years have gone. But not just that, everything goes so quick that I don’t quite understand when we get a chance to truly enjoy something, to relish every single minute of it. This year, I finished college (UK college for my overseas followers) and although I may or may not have to stay for another year, some time within the next 2 years I will be going to University. That, I know from what almost every graduate I know, is over in a flash. And then, I get a job (hopefully the jobs market will be a lot better by such a time). I either stay in my current relationship or I meet someone new, we get married (not necessarily but maybe), we have children, we raise the children and we go through life doing that. And then our children grow up, they leave, they follow the same or similar paths as we did. We live out the rest of our working lives and then we retire and grow old. Then we die.

Many people live to be 80+, but still when you think about it, and you really break it down it isn’t that long and I imagine that if I do make it to that age, I’ll sit there and think back to the day I wrote this blog (if I am in a fit state to do so, regarding mental health or general health) and I know it’ll only seem like 2 minutes ago. Next year I’ll be 20, let’s say I live until I’m 80. That means I’ve already lived a quarter of my life and I’ve barely done anything at all. I’ve had a happy life, yes, I wont dispute that. But I’ve not really achieved anything, because I’ve not really started living yet. I haven’t became the person I am supposed to be yet. 

Recently I’ve developed this moronic fear of getting old, not dying, just the getting old part. I really don’t know why. This is something that has never really bothered me before. But perhaps that may be because I have never really sat and thought about it in as great detail as I have lately. I just imagine myself mentally as I am now trapped inside an old, weary and frail body and quite frankly, that scares the shit out of me! I hate any idea of being locked in somewhere without the ability to get out. I know in this situation I wouldn’t be physically locked inside anywhere but I fear that this is exactly how I will feel. 

I’m also worried about wasting time on things in life. People, places and the past. I realize I am young but already I know how hard it is to move on from things that have hurt you and to look forward, you can’t live in the past because if you do, you sacrifice your future. But sometimes I just can’t help it. I’m worried that I will take a risk with someone or something just for it all to fall apart and for me to have to start again. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had breakups, some bad ones, some ‘good’ ones – however good a breakup can really be. I have had friendship breakups too, this is what has affected me the most. Maybe I’ll post about it one time, but not right now, that wound is too raw right now. And on that note, I have to end this post before I upset myself. 

promise that my next post will be upbeat and happy. I am not a depressing person, trust me.

 

Bloggers Anxiety

Published July 26, 2012 by goingalongwithit

My laptop has been turned on for most of the day. I’ve had Word Press open for the same length of time, and along with it, the ‘New Post’ box. I started typing, and then deleted what I had wrote, then I did the same again, and again. This went on for quite some time. So I opened up a new tab, and decided instead to find some new blogs to follow in the hope that I would find some inspiration somewhere, anywhere. I didn’t. I did however, find what I believe is going to be my favorite blog to read, so far at least. You can visit it here: http://suburbiainterrupted.com/

Part of me wishes however, that I hadn’t gone in search of new reads. I have realized how little I have to write about on my own blog. And with it, how unfunny I am. Is it possible that you can perhaps not be funny enough to write a blog? Or at least to write one anyone would be interested in reading! That sounds pretty defeatist, I know. But I’m still not going to stop writing my blog. So far I have attracted many more views and followers than I thought I would. And considering my blog is days old I can’t be doing to bad. I kinda feel like Anne Frank at the beginning of her diary here. Whinging about how she didn’t think that anyone would be remotely interested in the musings of a 13 year old girl (correct me if I am wrong on the age, it’s been quite some years since I last read it), even though the age is well off. I can’t think of any reason that a complete stranger would wish to come to my blog daily – or however often I post – to see what I’ve been up to or what it is that I want to talk about today. But in the same moment, I think … well surely it’s the same thing that motivates me to seek out other blogs to follow and to take an interest in? There is a reason I liked Suburbiainterrupted’s blog, and every other blog I’ve followed. I couldn’t pin point the reason, but that isn’t what I’m getting at. I find it interesting that, even though I take an active interest in other peoples lives on here – even just the everyday things like what they did with the kids today, the book they’re currently reading or something along those lines – I cannot grasp the concept of someone wanting to take the same interest in mine. That is not to say however, that I am not appreciative and deeply thankful of anyone who does.

Maybe it’s just the lack of inspiration making me anxious about blogging. I’m sure I’ll be fine once I find my feet. Perhaps somehow, I’ll develop the ability to be as equally satirical and witty as those posting on the blogs I follow. And maybe it’s blogging that made these people funny in the first place. The knowledge that someone, somewhere is going to read this, and from it decide whether or not they want to come back again could have developed their humor. I hope so, and I hope this happens to me. I’m not saying I’m a completely unfunny person, I make people laugh a lot, I’m just not sure if I can only do this through speech rather than writing. But, one of the reasons I started this blog was to develop my already not too shabby writing skills.

I suppose we’ll see. But if you do find yourself on my blog and aren’t impressed right now, just bear with me. I have everything crossed that I will get better at this. That finding things to blog about, and writing about them well, will become second nature to me.

Responsibly reckless? My views from the fence!

Published July 23, 2012 by goingalongwithit

I stayed in bed until after 12:00 today (don’t judge me, the lack of sleep in the last fortnight caught up with me) and I was listening to this morning. Today, it featured a mother who had found out that her daughter had been drinking without her knowledge since she was 14 years old (the girl is now 17) and she decided – in the knowledge that her daughter, like many other young teenagers would continue to do this whether or not she told her not to – that from now on when her daughter went out for a drink she would accompany her to make sure she stayed out of trouble and didn’t drink to excess. Watch the feature here: http://www.itv.com/thismorning/life/mum-who-gets-drunk-with-her-daughter/

When I first heard this, I thought, how stupid of her. How can she take her daughter out drinking when she knows she is underage? But then I waited, I listened, and her mother made quite a good point. “My daughter is going to drink even if I tell her she is not allowed to, so instead of her doing this unsupervised, I want to be there to make sure that she drinks sensibly and doesn’t get into any sort of trouble”. Surely, any parent would rather they be there to prevent their son or daughter from coming to harm? I wholly understand the point that this girl is underage and should not be drinking, but I also know that even if her mother told her not to drink anymore until she was of age (18 in the UK), she would anyway. I know this because I did it myself, silly I know, but I used to drink with friends from the age of 16. I never drank stupid amounts but I had friends who did, and on several occasions I personally had to phone ambulances for one or two of them after they had had plenty more than one too many. But I know that if these friends of mine had been in the presence of their parents when they were drinking, they wouldn’t have been in even half of the state that they were. That’s because they wouldn’t drink as much. To this day, I won’t drink too much at family parties etc, and that is out of respect. Which is, I think, why this mother and daughter have such an understanding. The mother respects that her child will drink, she doesn’t agree with it and actually doesn’t necessarily condone it, but at the same time, she accepts that it will happen with or without her consent, which leads her to the decision to be present when the drinking happens, just in case. 

But in saying that I also understand the counterargument, brought by journalist and mum Liz Fraser who says that the 17 year old shouldn’t be drinking until she is old enough. Full stop. She also thinks that it shows much more respect from the daughter if she took her mother more seriously and listened when she told her not to do something, which, in this case is consuming alcohol. 

I can honestly say I’m on the fence with this one, the story did intrigue me though. But as someone who does not have any children, I don’t think I’m in any position to fall down on either side of the argument. Maybe one day I’ll understand it fully. I can appreciate both points, but I don’t believe that I can entirely grasp the situation as it is something of which I have little experience, other than having been in the same situation as the daughter. The difference is however, my mother never found out. Which may be why I put it down to regular teenage behavior, something that should of course be viewed as wrong, but something which is inevitable. Take it from me, as I am still actually in the last of my teenage years, that we love to do the exact opposite of what our parents ask of us. I’m not quite sure why, maybe you can blame it on the “raging hormones” that people speak of so often. But that’s just how it is. So perhaps this mother has found the ‘happy’ medium. Or maybe she is just being irresponsible and putting her child at risk. One thing I do know though, is that people are way too quick to judge people in situations that they’ve never experienced themselves. I would argue until I am blue in the face with anyone who wishes to call this woman a bad mother. You don’t know why she came to this decision, and you don’t know why she chooses to act this way. But I suppose people will always judge others, even though they hope not to be judged in return. Which brings me to one of my favourite quotes, recently discovered, rather fitting actually … 

“We evaluate others with a Godlike justice, but we want them to evaluate us with a Godlike compassion.” — Sydney J. Harris