I find myself today completing my student finance application for University & thinking, where on earth has the past two years gone? I can still clearly remember my first day at college. Embarking on a new chapter in my life, new people, new places and new subjects. And I’m disappointed to realize that was wrong to think that I would come out of this with reams of knowledge on these new subjects. In fact, all I really have gained is more followers on Twitter, more friends on Facebook and the patience to sit through a 4 hour exam. Instead of immersing myself in the working of the human brain through my Psychology course, the only thing I became submerged in was preparation for exams, from day one. In hindsight, the majority, if not all of my time there was based completely on learning what to write in my exam, not gaining any substantial knowledge of Psychology. I picked up some information of course, the odd fact here and there, and a whole host of Psychologists names and ideologies, but it was 100% not what I expected. And now I find myself in considerable disagreement with the whole further education process. If I now, having completed my exams, I couldn’t relay what I have learned past the level of what the examiner expects me to say, then what is the point in me choosing things that I am interested in? Surely it would make more sense to have a set list of mandatory subjects for every sixth former to undertake. I say this because what I learned was memorization and regurgitation, nothing more, nothing less.
It’s a pretty grim thought that if I haven’t actually passed my exams, I have in essence wasted the last 2 years of my life. And do I care? DAMN RIGHT I DON’T. Because sadly, if I was guaranteed to pass, I’d do it all over again. Does that say something about me as a person? That I will spend another 2 years mindlessly sucking up information to spit it all back out at the end of the year in 2 or 3 hour bursts in the hope that it will help me progress onto higher education. Following the expected path, that’s what I feel like I’m doing. Just mulling along, following the crowd like a brainless sheep. I hope that one day I will have the chance to do something that nobody else has ever done, or that a lot of people don’t do. I feel like I’m under achieving, and not just in the academic sense, I feel as though I’m not getting the best out of life – or not yet at least – but when does ‘getting the best out of life’ really begin? Does it ever? What’s really surprised me is how much I’ve been thinking about the past lately, I don’t usually do that. I’m not much of a dweller on the past, I love to look to the future. Maybe that part of me is AWOL right now. I hope it’s back in action soon, very soon!
My main point is, am I the only person who feels like this? Surely not right …
The Way I See It 