All posts for the month September, 2013

Bipolar Blats

Published September 21, 2013 by goingalongwithit

Calling all those with a passion and interest for and in the mental health sector. This post brought me close to tears. I cannot express how happy it makes me to hear of those who have been blighted with mental illness who now find themselves in an amazing place and living life the way they always wanted it to be!

A Mind Divided

handmade greeting cards, collage artMy bipolar disorder and I seem to be co-existing a bit differently these days.  Compared to the warp speed cycling I’ve come to expect, with a grab-bag of symptoms from both ends of the spectrum at once, the illness seems almost asleep.  It’s dreaming, though, and it snores.

My capacity seems to be a little bigger, my ability to flex with change a little more limber.  The illness still bleeds through—a morning of crippling hopelessness, or agitation that fractures my memory.  But these incidents don’t last long.  And they don’t require my usual Siege preparations.  I can usually continue on with the day, get work done, keep my appointments and not fall into compulsive behavior.  These mini-episodes are sudden, sharp, painful, then over—like those god-awful air horns fans use at football games.  I’ve started calling them blats.

No way of knowing if this is a new trend or just another…

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What To Do When You’re Too Scared To Live

Published September 17, 2013 by goingalongwithit

Now, the title of this blog may be misleading to some people ..  I’m not literally too scared to live, its more of a metaphorical title. What I do mean is that lately I’ve found out a couple of things about the people around me and I must say I’m more than shocked, but would never pass judgement on these things (not to the person involved anyway) as you never know what’s going to happen to you in your own life, and they do say what goes around comes around! Most of the things I’ve been told about one particular person involve cheating on their partner, and at one stage even on their wife! I must stress however that the couple are no longer together and are trying to go through divorce proceedings for personal reasons. But this is a person that I was once (after the marriage breakdown) involved with for a while but before things got serious I broke it off as it wasn’t what I wanted at the time. A little later I began to think that I had made a mistake and that this person was the one I wanted to be with … How very wrong I was. Long story short, a couple of weeks later this bloke told me he had a new girlfriend, which I was absolutely fine with (honestly!!!) and that he was bringing her to an ‘event’ that we were both going to as we had friends in common, you could say, which I was also fine with (I promise I’m not lying). But since then a few people close to the person – off their own backs, not through me going looking for information, seriously this time – have told me a couple of things about him. And about his life when he was with his now estranged wife both before and after the marriage. These things led me to where I am now which is in the belief that I have dodged a majorly huge bloke sized bullet with that one. But there was just one thing I couldn’t get off my mind …

If a bloke that could fool me into thinking that he was one of the most lovely people I had ever met and someone that I saw myself being with for a long time could do these things, and could do these things in the past while being married and also while being engaged before that, then is there any possible hope that there is anyone out there that you can absolutely 100% trust with every inch of yourself? This could be the paranoia in me but how do we know that they aren’t thinking about other people, even messaging them .. Or god forbid having an affair with them!? You can just never know, and sometimes it’s actually those who you would least expect to behave in such a way that do it. Believe me I never would have thought in a million years that the man I’m talking about would do this to anyone, let alone while he was married to his poor wife (who I must also add, I have never met and do not know from Adam so whether or not her behavior had anything to do with his antics I do not know). I’m not saying that I don’t trust anyone at all, because I do. But how am I supposed to completely trust someone that I want to be romantically involved with? There is no possible way of knowing for sure that they have never or will never do anything like this to you. Of course this is the risk you take when you enter into a relationship, but it’s just a bullshit thing that you have to put your heart on the line by doing it. But I suppose that’s the whole point isn’t it? There will never be love without pain, risk, hurt or problems. I just hope that when I find the real thing, he is worth all of that.


Published September 17, 2013 by goingalongwithit

Hello everyone … Very sorry to have kept you all waiting (bet you didn’t even remember about my blog haha) for the next post so long. I’ve just been so busy. I’ve been sorting things out for University and trying to plan a family holiday for next year at the same time, which believe me isn’t easy, but now here I am and I’m back for good!!