All posts tagged men

What To Do When You’re Too Scared To Live

Published September 17, 2013 by goingalongwithit

Now, the title of this blog may be misleading to some people ..  I’m not literally too scared to live, its more of a metaphorical title. What I do mean is that lately I’ve found out a couple of things about the people around me and I must say I’m more than shocked, but would never pass judgement on these things (not to the person involved anyway) as you never know what’s going to happen to you in your own life, and they do say what goes around comes around! Most of the things I’ve been told about one particular person involve cheating on their partner, and at one stage even on their wife! I must stress however that the couple are no longer together and are trying to go through divorce proceedings for personal reasons. But this is a person that I was once (after the marriage breakdown) involved with for a while but before things got serious I broke it off as it wasn’t what I wanted at the time. A little later I began to think that I had made a mistake and that this person was the one I wanted to be with … How very wrong I was. Long story short, a couple of weeks later this bloke told me he had a new girlfriend, which I was absolutely fine with (honestly!!!) and that he was bringing her to an ‘event’ that we were both going to as we had friends in common, you could say, which I was also fine with (I promise I’m not lying). But since then a few people close to the person – off their own backs, not through me going looking for information, seriously this time – have told me a couple of things about him. And about his life when he was with his now estranged wife both before and after the marriage. These things led me to where I am now which is in the belief that I have dodged a majorly huge bloke sized bullet with that one. But there was just one thing I couldn’t get off my mind …

If a bloke that could fool me into thinking that he was one of the most lovely people I had ever met and someone that I saw myself being with for a long time could do these things, and could do these things in the past while being married and also while being engaged before that, then is there any possible hope that there is anyone out there that you can absolutely 100% trust with every inch of yourself? This could be the paranoia in me but how do we know that they aren’t thinking about other people, even messaging them .. Or god forbid having an affair with them!? You can just never know, and sometimes it’s actually those who you would least expect to behave in such a way that do it. Believe me I never would have thought in a million years that the man I’m talking about would do this to anyone, let alone while he was married to his poor wife (who I must also add, I have never met and do not know from Adam so whether or not her behavior had anything to do with his antics I do not know). I’m not saying that I don’t trust anyone at all, because I do. But how am I supposed to completely trust someone that I want to be romantically involved with? There is no possible way of knowing for sure that they have never or will never do anything like this to you. Of course this is the risk you take when you enter into a relationship, but it’s just a bullshit thing that you have to put your heart on the line by doing it. But I suppose that’s the whole point isn’t it? There will never be love without pain, risk, hurt or problems. I just hope that when I find the real thing, he is worth all of that.



Published July 19, 2012 by goingalongwithit

I will never understand how someone who doesn’t know me, has never spoken to me, and only really knows who I am because they follow me on twitter and I happen to be good friends with their boyfriend can be of the opinion that they don’t like me. This is one of the many reasons as to why I cannot and don’t think I ever will be able to understand the female brain. I know this may sound peculiar coming from a female, but I honestly think I’m running on a different frequency to other women/girls around me.

I get the whole “he’s my boyfriend and  you’re his ex-girlfriend therefore I don’t like you” thing, but that doesn’t even apply to this situation. I have never, nor will I ever be involved in any other way than friends with this person, and yet for some reason, this girl doesn’t like me. Might I add, that actually, she one time added me on Blackberry Messenger, which was a long time ago so I didn’t think anything of it, she didn’t even know him then. But we never spoke, which is the exact reason that I didn’t see fit to accept her other BBM request when I got a new Blackberry so that was the end of that.

Like seriously are we still 12? I think I’ve missed the memo of, he’s got a girlfriend now you can’t be friends anymore. Bitch please!? We were friends long before you came along and although I wish you every happiness together I can guarantee that I will be here long after you’ve quit the coitus and moved on. I would understand if I had given her any reason for this dislike, but I haven’t. And if I’m quite honest other than the fact that I despise some of the ways in which the female mind works and interprets things, I couldn’t care less what she or anyone else for that matter thinks about me. I don’t need her to like me. I think I’ll sleep pretty well tonight regardless of whether or not we are ‘buddies’. I just wish for better for my friend, I mean she’s a pretty girl, but obviously she’s left her brain in the schoolyard.